I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
