we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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