At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
