I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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