i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dick very happy bro
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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