Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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