Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
