Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
