well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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