hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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