Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
