i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
