It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
