I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
