the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
