Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Girls should come with a carfax report
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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