You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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