my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
