I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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