their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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