Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
