Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
