Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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