I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
