It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
