is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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