so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
