5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
