he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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