Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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