We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
