I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
