im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
