Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
