her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize