Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
