so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize