Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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