also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
