i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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