Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
