That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I need a burrito and a hug.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Text me some of your sweat
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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