Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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