her vagine was all disorganized.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
