My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
