normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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