I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
