We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Come on in and take your pants off
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