I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize