my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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