I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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