But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize
