my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
