Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
