there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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