All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
