Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
