Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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