With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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