think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
