Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The uberlube is also flammable
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
