I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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