i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
