omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
