Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
