My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
