no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
