It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
