Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
