So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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